Surgery Number 3

Yes, you read correctly we will be having a third eye surgery. Here's the run down...

Phillip took Ashton for his two week follow-up on Tuesday. There the surgeon found that his right eye lens had come out of the bag on one side. She wanted to confer with another doctor as to how to proceed, so we finally heard back yesterday. In speaking with her, she had discussed the need with the other surgeon to go back in to see if we can get the lens in the correct position. She felt this other surgeon would be better to do the corrective surgery, and so we received a call from his office yesterday afternoon and they scheduled us to meet with the new surgeon today at noon.

The new surgeon specializes in irregularities in surgeries and is one of the best in the nation. Patients from states around come to this doctor for corrective issues. In meeting with him today, we fell very confident of his abilities to correct Ashton's issue. He will either replace the lens or re-position the current lens if possible.

Time is working against us at this point, so the surgeon booked Ashton as the first surgery this upcoming Monday at 7:00 in the same surgery facility we were in for his second surgery.

The issue is that the lens is chaffing against his iris as it dilates and contracts and is chipping of parts of his iris which is why they are seeing pigment on the lens.

Ashton understands he is needing another surgery and is very sad about it, but he know's God is in control and we give all praise to Him for the blessings and times of growth.

It is difficult to express the variety of emotions this has brought as we finally were feeling past the hump. Holding Ashton's hand through another unpleasant surgery and starting over on the recovery process is a large set back has been heart wrenching experience for Phillip and I.

We want to express our most sincere gratitude for your prayers and we pray Ashton's journey will reflect God's work in our lives. We would like to share with you Colossians 1: 9-12 Msg

"Be assured from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to His will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the master, making Him proud of you as you work hard in His orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray you will have the strength to stick it out over the long haul- not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is the strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."

Some wonderful moments to share with you...

Yesterday, it was foggy on the way to school and Ashton was quite astonished by the "fuzziness" of everything outside. We had the wonderful opportunity to teach Ashton about fog yesterday.

This evening Ashton was painting some ornaments outside and he came running and screaming inside to get me to see the sunset. We went outside and enjoyed the beautiful pinks and purples in the skyline and praised God for creating the beautiful things for us to enjoy. God truly is making everything "bright and beautiful" for Ashton.

Please note, I will try to post an update following our surgery on Monday morning.

All our love,
Phillip, Lindsay, Alex and Ashton

Right Eye Surgery and follow-up

Wednesday morning we dropped of Alex at school and headed to the other surgical center in Dallas. We were supposed to be there at 8:30 as we were the first surgery, but after being stuck in traffic where we spent an hour going 2.8 miles with another 7 miles to get there, we took to the streets of Dallas and finally arrived 45 minutes late. They hurried us back, but once we got in the pediatric room the anesthesiologist came by and said they would move us to second so we did not have to rush the drops and process with Ashton. 

The preparation for the second surgery was much more challenging than the first. He refused to take his medications. We managed to get the "Valium" like medication down but he spit out his Loritab (pain reliever). The drops were much more challenging as he knew what was going to happen this time around. We spoke with the anesthesiologist at length about his difficulty and crying last time after surgery and she assured us she would do her best to bring him out much more slowly and restfully. I also spoke with the nurse and for him let her know about his trouble of post-op last time with the "no-no's and my concern for him being frightened and alone.

When it was time for him to go back they allowed us to go up to the hallway of the operating room where he was crying and pleading for us. We then headed out to the waiting room to see my parents and a great friend who came to join us at this surgery as well. It sure does help pass that stressful time to have family and wonderful friends there with us. Phillip and I run out of things to talk about on our own, so we love having people there to distract us.

The doctor came out to tell us he had done well in surgery and we would be able to go back and see him soon. When we went back, he was laying in the bed moaning a little bit. The nurse had not place the no-no's on him and he seemed much more calm. When I told him I was there, and he began to cry. Phillip put him in my lap and he went back to sleep whimpering just a tad bit here and there. It was so refreshing to have him resting instead of being inconsolable. After about 30 minutes they went and got our friend and my parents and they let them head out the back entrance with us.

Ashton slept all the way home and then for about another hour once we got home on the couch. The rest of the day was very fussy and irritable but not like the screaming we had experienced the past week. The night was still pretty exhausting checking on him and his whimpering a lot while he was sleeping.

The next morning we went to see the doctor for our follow up visit. It did not go as smoothly as the week before. He seemed to be in much more pain with his sensitivity to light. She was unable to get a good look, so we scheduled another visit for next Tuesday morning. If she is able to get a good enough look and is satisfied we are good to go for another week. If not, we will need to put him under anesthesia again next week for her to get a solid look on Wednesday.

Suggestions on how to reason with a 4 year old boy he needs to sit perfectly still for 15 minutes with a bright light being shined in his sensitive eyes would be greatly appreciated. We'll see....

Yesterday went rather smoothly although he is much more resistant to the drops. I think it is a combination of making them more sensitive to light plus it now encompasses both eyes. It is just exhausting trying to keep him from jumping, running and rough housing. As he feels a little better he wants to do more things a normal 4 year old boy would enjoy doing.

Yesterday afternoon, we did have a wonderful opportunity to visit with a friend after picking up Alex from school in the afternoon. It was spiritually recharging to visit and relax. Great friends are a precious gift from God!

This morning was a slightly different story than yesterday. Ashton had his eye patch on over night and this morning he refused to open his eyes. He said they hurt and he did not want to open them. I figured it was probably his night patch, so I slowly took it off. Unfortunately, it ripped off about a quarter square inch of skin off of his face. It was extremely raw and I immediately applied Neosporin with pain relief to it. He cried in my arms for the next two hours still refusing to open his eyes. When Phillip got home from dropping Alex off at school and nothing was soothing him, we got him dressed to take him to Burger King to get a Cinnabon cinnamon roll. Finally, after about 20 minutes of being there he finally opened one eye. He is very frustrated with the process and seems to be giving up. So, from 7:30-10:30 he refused to open his eyes. Where does this young man get his stubbornness? Well, don't look at me!!!! :)

This afternoon we went by to visit Ashton's school because his class had made him a get well soon and we miss you book. Both of his teachers and each student created a page for him. It is the most precious thing I've ever seen. He cannot wait to go back to school to resume life as normal. He does not enjoy being in the spot light and missing out on all the fun his friends are having. It really bothers him how people look at him and he does not like leaving home much. I am hoping his eyes will look and feel better soon.

Please pray for Ashton to feel stronger and less defeated about his recovery as well as for Tuesday's check-up to well enough to not have to undergo anesthesia on Wednesday. We appreciate all of your prayers and words of encouragement. Well wishes to all of you.

Post Op Visit

Yesterday we went to visit with the surgeon. The doctor came to get us from the waiting room almost as soon as we got there. As soon as we got to the room, she took off his patch. We were amazed, there was no blood and it was barely pink. I was prepared for just about anything, so I was so happy to see him open his eye and it be as beautiful as I remembered.

She was very impressed with how minimal inflammation had occurred  She said the lens looked spectacular.

We tried to see how good his vision is with the new lens, but his patients were running thin at this point. The best read we were able to get was 20/70 which is where he was before. She said we would be able to correct his vision with the bifocals we will get him 4-6 weeks after his right eye surgery.

I was hoping Ashton's vision would of been instantly improved. I was thinking he would see brighter colors and his world would be more vibrant, but at this point there has not been that ah-ha moment. I'm not sure what to expect except I know his vision would of only continued to deteriorate if we had not of had the surgery.

Ashton was very excited to have the patch off of his eye. He was overall very cooperative at the appointment and we went home to fill his prescriptions. He has to have drops 10 times a day plus his patch and an ointment applied each night.

He is not very happy about the process. He tries so hard to be good through the drops, but he cannot stop from covering his eyes. Honestly, I could not place my hands by my side either if some one was going to put drops in them. So I have to gently sit on top of him to hold arms down and then I place the drop in the corner of the eye and then I carefully pull his eye lids apart so the drop goes into the eye. Then we play the tickle game since I already have him pegged on the floor and he seems happy afterwards. He is my Captain America!
Currently we are praising God for his faithfulness and grace he has poured out to us. Lamentations 3: 22-23 Msg "God's loyal love couldn't of run out, His mercies couldn't of dried up.They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God." We are choosing to serve God in every aspect of our lives. Joshua 24:15.
Here is a picture as we were riding home in the car from the doctors office yesterday. He has on his headphones as he was watching Phineas and Ferb. Thank you for your continued prayers, we still have a long road of recovery and the next surgery is in 5 days.

Surgery one complete

Today started off well. We got Alex dropped of at school and make it to the surgery center in time. Ashton did well until we went back for surgery prep. They placed numbing drops in his eyes and then followed up with 3 rounds of drops consisting of 3 different drops in both eyes that burned a lot. Holding him down for each round was excruciatingly painful and drained all 3 of us. When it was time to wheel him back he was very upset. They had given him something "Valium like" but he was very aware mommy and daddy were not going with him.

Once he left we sat there for a while before heading out to the waiting room to see my parents and a dear friend who came to sit in our bucket with us. The surgery was over within 45 minutes and the doctor came to conference with us. She said everything had gone very well and she was pleased with every aspect of his surgery.

We had to wait about another 15 minutes until they called us back to go see him. I was not as well prepared as I wished I had been, because he was extremely disoriented, agitated and inconsolable. He was laying in the bed, with his arms in No-No's (a devise that prevents him from being able to bend his arms), and screaming and crying as hard as I have ever heard. The nurse let Phillip pick him up and place him in my lap, but he did not calm down. After 30 minutes of him crying and not opening his right eye to see despite me singing to him, kissing his face and rubbing him gently I was getting discouraged. I managed to convince the nurse I would make sure he did not touch his patch and she allowed us to remove his no-no's. This seemed to help, but he still was crying. He finally was able to tell us he was in pain, so the doctor allowed him to have some Loratab. He calmed down into a constant whimper and after getting a little bit of juice down they allowed us to go home.

The ride home went well. Phillip drove us very smoothly, Ashton went to sleep and I caught up on some communication. Once home, Ashton was still very fussy. He wanted some pancakes and he ate a few bites here and there. Then when my mom sat with him she managed to get him to gobble them up. Eating wiped him out so Ashton and I took about 2 hour nap to pass the time until he could have some Tylenol. Once he was back awake he was miserable again. We tried our favorite show Phineas and Ferb, a brief walk at sun down, games, rocking, dinner but nothing seemed to keep his mind off of the pain. Phillip spoke with the anesthesiologist and we were able to give him some more pain killer. If his pain stays at a high level, she said she would call us in a prescription.

Right now, I am trying to figure out how we can do this again in a week. This was much for difficult of a process than we were anticipating.

We are praying for a great nights sleep for all of us. Ashton cannot wait to get the patch off tomorrow. Please pray for comfort for Ashton and rest both physically and emotionally for Phillip and myself. We will update tomorrow after tomorrow's visit, hopefully with a picture as well.

Thank you for everyone who has clothed us with prayers. We pray God blesses each of you in return for your generosity and love you have poured upon us. We treasure you deeply.

Left Eye Surgery Eve

Well, we have made all of the preparations for tomorrow's surgery. Alex's bag is packed to spend the night with our great friend. Ashton has a good resolve about tomorrow's events. We have worked through all the concepts with him for tomorrow and he seems at peace.

We had a wonderful family dinner and the boys are fixing to have their bath before getting ready for bed. We are praying for rest and a good night's sleep.

Today was especially special to me as I received a wonderful bouquet of gift cards and candy as a care package from all the ladies I work with. (I attached a picture) Words cannot describe how blessed I am to have the team of ladies I work with who have been praying for me throughout this process. They have been a great source of encouragement and wisdom.

We are the first surgery of the day tomorrow and we will post as soon as we have an update to share.

Tonight's scripture comes from Ephesians 2:7 Msg
"Now God has us right where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus."

My prayer:
Daddy,
   I know you are holding us tightly within your grip. We know you have a plan for us that brings glory to only you. Lord, please fill us with your peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you for the wonderful opportunity to walk along side of Ashton through this journey you have for him. We are so blessed to be his parents. Impart upon us wisdom to stay focused on you and not fall for satan's lies. Lord, bless all who know Ashton and use his story to point to you. Help keep safe and heal his precious eyes. We thank you for his doctor and pray the talents you have given her will be a blessing in Ashton's regaining of vision. May you be glorified. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Surgery Schedule

I heard from the specialist office and we were able to schedule the surgeries. The summary is Ashton will have his left eye surgery next Wednesday, November 7th and his right eye surgery will be the following Wednesday on November 14th.

I am very anxious to get through these next two weeks and have the surgeries behind us. One of the challenges we will face is that each surgery will occur at separate facilities. This is not what we wanted, but with the way they already had the facilities reserved, Thanksgiving falling on the third week and the urgency to have his eyes corrected, it will have to do.

His follow up visits will be the Thursday morning after each surgery. I am not exactly sure what each day will hold as far as patches, eye drops and how he will recovery from anesthesia each time. I figured we'll just walk through those doors as they come. I am trying to focus on Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own."

We have a great friend, a sincere blessing to our family who is going to keep Alex each day of the surgery and get him to school the next day. We felt this best to alleviate his anxiety of seeing his brother in this condition plus us not being able to give him the attention he deserves. No worries, he is very excited to have the sleep over. Hopefully he will not miss us. :)

About today.... Today we took Ashton to see another eye specialist to have his eyes measured for the lenses they will be using to replace his current lenses. It was painless, except it meant being perfectly still for 45 minutes. It was extremely nerve wrecking for Phillip and myself, because if he did not get the measurements done at the office today the doctor would have to guess by sight what size lenses to put in his eyes during the surgery. Guessing by "eye balling" it was not going to be alright with us. Ashton tried so hard, but it was a miserable experience and he is already becoming resentful of the process. After they got the measurements two other doctors came in to look at his eyes since it very rare to see his condition. They were very nice and Ashton enjoyed talking to them about being Captain America for Halloween.

Last night, Ashton asked about the process of how the doctor is going to fix his eyes. We discussed the IV like he had at Cook's when he had a respiratory issue a few months back and how they were going to have him take a nap as they fixed his eye. He is nervous about me not being with him the entire time, especially when he first wakes up. Frankly, I am not sure how I'm going to handle this part either.

I am getting really tired of being strong. It is difficult to keep handing it over to God and facing another day. It is not a daily choice at this point, but a choice I am having to make every moment fear rushes in and satan tries to convince me of his lies. I am using 2 Corinthians 12:7 to help me through.
"My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness."


My most sincere request is for continued prayer for peace for Ashton, Phillip and mysellf. It is what we most need during this time of anxious awaiting. Phillipians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious in anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ. "

We will continue to update you as there are updates. Thank you again to each of you for all of support and love. We are truly blessed.

Visit to the Pediatric Cataract Specialist

Today was the long awaited day to meet with the specialist to receive details and additional information. When the receptionist called me on the phone at 11:00 with a shaky voice asking me if we were the 1:30 appointment, I froze thinking she was going to have to reschedule, but to my surprise wanted to know if we could get there at 1:00 instead. I was so excited to call Phillip and tell him we had 30 minutes less to wait for these long awaited answers.

My mom kept Ashton overnight and brought him to the doctor, as she wanted to come and hear from the doctor, not to mention she just wanted to this spend valuable time with him. She met us there which allowed me to get in an extra 30 minutes at work. Thanks mom! :)

When we arrived, we were sent back almost immediately as we were now the first appointment after lunch. :) To say Ashton was apprehensive would be a little understated, but we have kept him informed with the process and what to expect as we are walking through this journey together.

Overall, the process was identical to the last visit as far as the eye tests are concerned. Ashton was sad we had to do the dilatation again like last time. But at least we earned his best friend another sticker. That seems to keep him motivated!

When the doctor looked into his eyes she confirmed what the previous doctor had stated with the finding of bilateral nuclear cataracts (both eyes cataracts in the center of each eye). She felt they can be corrected through surgery with only a 30% chance of needing to have them redone in the future. She said they would schedule it in two surgeries, a week apart hopefully starting next week. He will require bifocals after the surgery to give about 20/40 vision. She confirmed he should be able to live a normal life and successfully attain a drivers license.

It's hard to decide which I'd prefer and maybe on the other side of this I could tell you my preference. The question inside of me is... one surgery, eye patches for two days of misery and move on or two surgeries a week apart, one eye patch at a time but going under anesthesia twice. It is something I have wrestled with all week, but we will move forward as the doctor feels two surgeries would be most beneficial to Ashton to reduce chances of infection.

The first surgery will be in Ashton's left eye since it is a little bit weaker than his right. The doctor's and our highest concern is Ashton learning how to use his eyes as well as him developing correctly both physically and mentally. The lady was supposed to call us and schedule the surgeries this afternoon, but we did not hear from her. Needless to say, I plan to call first thing in the morning. Once I have the dates we have to schedule an extra appointment for specific eye measurements with another doctor. They will uses these measurements during his procedures.

Overall, we are very happy and secure with the doctor we met with today. She was wonderful with Ashton. She was patient with our questions, and her expectations are very high for Ashton's recovery. I will post tomorrow with specifics regarding surgery dates.

Words cannot describe how much Phillip and I appreciate your outpouring of love upon our family. We have felt the prayers and know God is listening to our petitions for Ashton to regain his vision. Thank you for sharing God's love with us.

Cataracts Age 4

Small Back-story....

Last week, Ashton's Pre-K program director at the most fabulous children's learning center shared with me that Ashton had failed his eye exam and needed to follow up with  his pediatrician. I like many mothers of a 4 year old sweet boy asked if he was trying or just being, well.... silly. She said they had done two screenings and felt the results were possibly valid.

So, I called my mom who is retired and asked her if she would pick him up from school and take him by the pediatrician to check out his eyes again. They went and my mom called me later and said he was definitely struggling to see, so the pediatrician referred us to a pediatric optometrist. We got the appointment for yesterday, and my mom decided to meet me there to help us pick out glasses.

In the meanwhile, I went around feeling like an awful mom who did not even notice her child was struggling to see. I was scared about the changes glasses would bring to his little life. Would he break them? Would other kids make fun of him? How would it affect his self-esteem?

Tuesday came to meet the pediatric optometrist and I had already done all the research for what kind of glasses we would need. We filled out the paper work, waited in the waiting room, went back and had the assistant check out his vision. I was saddened by how little he was able to see. Then the doctor came in and ran some of the same tests. They dilated his eyes which took 2 rounds. Ashton was very upset with me for holding him down to have drops that sting placed in his eyes.

When the doctor came back, he looked in his eyes and said, "o' god... it's cataracts... nuclear cataracts." My heart racing I pulled out my phone and googled nuclear cataracts. Then the doctor peered in his left eye and said, "Nuclear cataracts in his left eye as well." Before my phone could load enough for me to read to begin asking questions the doctor had me come over and he showed me how cloudy his lenses were. Ashton sat there so well as my eyes were trying to summarize what I was seeing to share with his father. My heart felt like it weighed a million pounds and it sunk into my stomach.

The doctor explained to me that nuclear meant in the center of his eyes and it was something very rare we would have to see a specialist for. He confirmed surgery should be able to correct his vision and referred us to the best doctor in the nation who happens to be out of the Dallas area.

My mom and dad had planned to take Ashton to the zoo because it was such a lovely day and they headed out on their adventure. As I walked out to my car to head back to work, my hands trembling, my stomach in my throat, I picked up the phone and called Phillip. My heart was racing to share the heavy news I had just received and knowing how sad he would feel for not going. I told him Ashton had cataracts and we had to see a pediatric cataract specialist. I cannot imagine how he felt in that moment, but we stayed focused to develop a plan of action to gain back Ashton's vision. We called the pediatric cataract specialist office and now have an appointment for Tuesday at 1:30. I spent the rest of my day researching everything I could find to gain an explanation 

After work, I went by and picked up Ashton from my parent's house on the way home. So eager to see my "happy face" as Phillip has always referred to him. He loves to hold me so close. He squeezed my neck as I entered the door and wrapped his legs around me. He did not want me to put him down. 

As we left my parent's house and headed home I told him how proud I was of his behavior at the doctors office today. He told me how excited he was to not need glasses. And I explained to him that he was not able to see very well and we would have to see another doctor who could fix his eyes.

Once we got home, he let me play "what can I see" games. The answer is not very much. How did I, his mom, not know he could see barely anything? I'm not exactly sure except that he is very smart and remembers everything. I discovered he cannot see colors very well. When I pointed out to him that he was not right on some colors, he said he could not tell. I told him the doctor we are going to see next week should be able to help him see his colors. He said, "like when I was 3?" I told him yes and he was very excited.I told him he would be able to see me again. He said he remembered how pretty I was. Tears just ran down my face. I just want my baby to be able to see. Oh, how desperately I want him to enjoy a life where he can see me and play like any little boy.

It is hard for me to imagine what it is like to live in his world right now. Now I understand why he likes to be so close to me, why he sits so close to the TV, why he doesn't enjoy playing with toys or reading and why he is so afraid of the dark.

In the meanwhile, I am resting in Isiah 41:10 (Msg)
"Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."